Suicide Prevention

If your life is in immediate danger dial 999 now.

If you need crisis or emotional support click here.

What are suicidal feelings?

Suicidal feelings can be abstract thoughts about ending your life or feeling that people would be better off without you, or it could be thinking about methods of suicide or making clear plans to take your own life.

Suicidal thoughts can vary from person to person, particularly in terms of:

• Intensity – suicidal feelings are more overwhelming for some people than others. They can build up gradually or be intense from the start. They can be more or less severe at different times and may change quickly
• Length – suicidal feelings sometimes pass quickly, but may still be very intense. They may come and go, or last for a long time

What does it feel like to be suicidal?

1 in 5 people will have suicidal thoughts or feelings in their lifetime.

Different people have different experiences of suicidal feelings. You might feel unable to cope with the difficult feelings you are experiencing. You may feel less like you want to die and more like you cannot go on living the life you have.

These feelings may build over time or might change from moment to moment. And it's common to not understand why you feel this way.

How you might think or feel

• Hopeless, like there is no point in living
• Tearful and overwhelmed by negative thoughts
• Unbearable pain that you can't imagine ending
• Useless, not wanted or not needed by others
• Desperate, as if you have no other choice
• Like everyone would be better off without you
• Cut off from your body or physically numb
• Fascinated by death

What you may experience

• Poor sleep, including waking up earlier than you want to
• A change in appetite, weight gain or loss
• No desire to take care of yourself, for example neglecting your physical appearance
• Wanting to avoid others
• Making a will or giving away possessions
• Struggling to communicate
• Self-loathing and low self-esteem
• Urges to self-harm

Suicidal thoughts aren't permanent – things do improve. You can find your motivation to live again.

How long will I feel suicidal?

How long suicidal feelings last is different for everyone. It is common to feel as if you'll never be happy or hopeful again.

But with treatment and support, including self-care, the majority of people who have felt suicidal go on to live fulfilling lives.

The earlier you let someone know how you're feeling, the quicker you'll be able to get support to overcome these feelings. But it can feel difficult to open up to people.

You may want others to understand what you're going through, but you might feel:

• Unable to tell someone
• Unsure of who to tell
• Concerned that they won't understand
• Fearful of being judged
• Worried you'll upset them

It's important to remember that you deserve support, you are not alone and there is support out there.

What can I do to help myself?

Focus on what is in your control

• Tell people what helps you and how they can support you
• Spot early warning signs, try to be aware of how you're feeling
• Keep a mood diary to track what makes you feel better or worse
• Be kind to yourself, look after yourself and try to notice the good things
• Refer to your safety plan if you have one. If you don’t have a safety plan, you can find out more information and a template here

Connect with what makes you feel better

• Feeling connected to the world around us is important
• Spend time with people who are important to you or find other ways to connect to your community
• Try peer support, look for local groups that bring together people who've had similar experiences to support each other
• Admitting when you’re struggling with other people to find a different way with connecting with the world

Make time for hobbies and activities you enjoy

• Practice relaxing activities, whether that's taking a bath, listening to music or walking the dog
• Get into nature, either out in parks or countryside, or if you’re not as mobile, caring for plants or animals can give you great natural benefits

Look after your body

• Try to get enough sleep and rest when you can
• Keep physically active and try regular gentle exercise
• Avoid drugs or alcohol, in the long run they'll make you feel worse
• Make time for personal care and look after your hygiene
• Eat healthily, it really does make a difference

Adapted from:www.mind.org.uk

Emergency mental health support

If your mental or emotional state quickly gets worse or deteriorates, this can be called a 'mental health crisis'. In this situation, it is important to get help quickly.

There are lots of different types of support available, including:

• Telephone line
• Text message services
• Crisis café

If your life is in immediate danger dial 999, or go to an emergency department now.

Otherwise, click here for further support.

If you’re worried that someone is at risk of suicide, it’s okay to ask them directly. Research shows that this helps because it gives them permission to tell you how they feel and shows that they are not a burden.

If you feel their life is in immediate danger dial 999 now or attend your local emergency department.

Alternatively, you can call 111 and choose the mental health option for support and advice. The person you are worried about does not need to make the phone call – you can call on their behalf.

For other sources of support, please click here.

Signs that someone may not be OK

Many people struggle to cope at one point or another of their lives. Reaching out to someone could help them know that someone cares, that they are valued, and help them access the support they need.

Everyone copes and reacts in their own way, but here are some general signs to look out for. For some people, several of these signs might apply - for others just one or two, or none.

Signs to look out for

• Feeling restless and agitated
• Feeling angry and aggressive
• Feeling tearful
• Being tired or lacking in energy
• Changes to their physical appearance (for example not wearing makeup when they normally would)
• Not wanting to talk to or be with people
• Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
• Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings
• Increase in self harm thoughts or behaviours
• Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
• Stopping taking prescribed medication
• Not attending planned appointments
• Not replying to messages or being distant
• Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless, or worthless
• Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of, or feeling unable to escape their thoughts
• A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
• Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence

You might not always be able to spot these signs. These emotions may be more difficult to spot if you're seeing less of the people you're close to.

It can also be useful to identify circumstances that can trigger suicidal thoughts or make it hard for someone to cope.

Situations to look out for

• Bereavement
• Suicide or attempted suicide of family member, friend or public figure
• Relationship and/or family difficulties (e.g. relationship break-up)
• Housing problems
• Financial worries
• Job-related stress
• College or study-related pressures
• Bullying, abuse or neglect
• Loneliness and isolation
• Challenging current events
• Depression
• Painful and/or disabling physical illness
• Heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs

These factors may not apply to everyone who is struggling, but they can be useful to watch out for. Not everyone who attempts suicide will experience these issues, and not everyone who is in these situations will attempt suicide.

What to do if you think someone is struggling

If you feel their life is in immediate danger dial 999 now or attend your local emergency department.

Alternatively, you can call 111 and choose the mental health option for support and advice. The person you are worried about does not need to make the phone call – you can call on their behalf.

If you are worried that someone is thinking about suicide, one of the best things that you can do is to encourage them to talk about how they are feeling. It can feel uncomfortable to ask about suicide. You might not know what to say, worry about saying the wrong thing, or worry that you don’t have any solutions for their situation. It is completely normal and understandable to feel this way, but the most important thing is to ask directly “are you thinking about suicide?” and to listen to what they tell you.

You might feel you need to try to provide a solution but the most important thing you can do to help is listen. If you are worried, trust your instincts, and ask them: “Are you thinking about suicide?” It might also help to:

• Let them know that you care about them and that they aren’t alone
• Empathise with them. Be aware you don’t know exactly how they feel. You could say something like, ‘I can’t imagine how painful this is for you, but I would like to try to understand’
• Be non-judgemental by trying not to criticise or blame them
• Repeat their words back to them in your own words. This shows that you are listening. Repeating information can also make sure that you have understood it properly
• Ask about their reasons for living and dying and listen to their answers. Try to explore their reasons for living in more detail
• Focus on people they care about, and who care about them. And who they might hurt by leaving them behind
• Ask if they have felt like this before. If so, ask how their feelings changed last time
• Reassure them that they won’t feel this way forever, and that intensity of feelings can reduce in time
• Encourage them to focus on getting through the day rather than focussing on the future
• Ask them if they have a plan for ending their life and what it is
• Encourage them to seek help that they are comfortable with. Such as help from a doctor or counsellor, or support through a charity such as the Samaritans
• Follow up any commitments that you agree to
• Make sure someone is with them if they’re in immediate danger
• To help them to get professional help
• Get support for yourself

Adapted from: Rethink Mental Illness

The Zero Suicide Alliance (ZSA) training course teaches you the skills and confidence to have a potentially life-saving conversation with someone you’re worried about. This course is free and can be accessed here.

It is important to remind individuals to use a safety plan if they have one or assist them in creating one. An example of a downloadable safety plan can be found here.

You can also help the person you are concerned about find other sources of support here.

What if they won’t accept my help?

If someone won't accept your help, you can:

• Say where they can find help if they change their mind
• Encourage them to talk to someone
• Encourage them to reach out if they change their mind
• Check in on them later if you feel able to
• Remind them that things can change
• Remember, calling 111 and selecting the mental health option will talk to you about someone else
• If possible, it can be helpful to help establish a support network - of friends, family, mental health professionals, or other agencies or community members - for the person struggling

Supporting someone who is struggling can be distressing - especially if that person is in danger of taking their own life or harming themselves.

It’s important for you to make sure you’re okay too. Give yourself time to rest and process what’s happened.

I’m concerned about someone’s online behaviour

If you’re worried about someone online because of the way they’re acting or the things that they’re posting, you can:

• Offer them support if you feel comfortable
• Tell someone you trust
• Report it on the platform they’re using so they can provide support

We all experience not being okay differently, but some signs to look out for are:

• Posting messages that worry you
• Posting detailed or graphic messages about self-harm or suicide
• Posting graphic pictures or videos about self-harm or suicide

Some phrases or themes to watch out for in online messages include:

• I want to give up
• No-one would notice if I wasn’t here
• I hate myself

Not everyone who is struggling to cope will use these phrases, and some people might stop posting or messaging at all, which could also be another sign.

Reporting content and getting support for users

If you think a someone is struggling or is posting messages about self-harm and suicide, it’s always helpful to flag it with the platform so that they can get in touch with them to provide support.

What content should be reported:

• Posts or comments that describe a method of self-harm or suicide
• Graphic images or videos that show wounds or methods of hurting yourself
• Posts or comments encouraging self-harm or suicide

Reporting content is really important to help the individual get support and to keep other people safe online. Most platforms have a function where you can report content. If you’re unsure or have questions about how to report content, visit Report Harmful Content.

Source: samiritans.org.uk

Many people will be affected by suicide at some point during their life. In Lincolnshire, between 80 and 90 people die by suicide every year, estimated to affect 11,000 people in Lincolnshire every year.

You may have experienced a personal bereavement, been impacted by a suicide in the line of your work, or you may have found somebody who has died by suicide. Everybody will respond to these situations differently, but it is common to experience a range of feelings including stigma, shame, loss and anger.

Facing stigma and feeling shame

You may experience a painful feeling of shame or distress, perhaps due to thoughts that you have done something wrong or did not do enough to prevent the death. Additionally, you may feel ashamed by the way other people discuss suicide and the stigma that continues to exist in our society.

The experience of being bereaved by suicide sets individuals apart and complicates the way in which others respond. Some individuals find it easier to explain the death in a different manner, while others may struggle to find the right words to say. People who have been bereaved by suicide often express feeling judged in a way that may not occur if their loved one had died in a different way.

I can’t believe what has happened, it doesn’t feel real

The feeling of shock can last a long time and you may experience it in many ways. It may feel as if you have lost your ability to breathe normally – as if someone has punched a hole through you or you have taken a deep breath in and then can’t breathe out. Or you may feel you have lost your ability to complete daily tasks and that you are detached from what is going on around you.

Some people find it hard to accept someone has died, and that the person will no longer be part of their lives. This feeling can fade as the reality of their death sinks in, but you may still find yourself doubting what has happened for some time.

I’m feeling angry and afraid

People who have been bereaved often feel angry. You may be angry with the person for dying in this way and leaving so much pain behind, or because you have been left to deal with lots of practical matters and you feel ill-prepared.

Grief can feel frightening. Sometimes people are afraid about what life will be like without the person who has died or about the impact the death will have on others. It can be difficult to imagine a different future.

The fear and uncertainty over how people will react can lead you to put up defences against them in case they say something upsetting or ask intrusive questions. Even though it is difficult, talking is helpful. Some people say it can be easier to talk with people who have also been bereaved by suicide.

Physical reactions

You may find you are feeling physically unwell, with intense or lasting headaches, upset stomach, sickness and feeling low. You may find you are having difficulty going to or staying asleep, or feeling tired and like you want to sleep all day.

These are common reactions to being impacted by suicide. You may also feel you don’t want to eat and feel sick when you try to. You may find you are drinking more as a distraction. It is important to remember to try to look after your body, even when it might seem really hard. If you are experiencing physical symptoms, you may find it helpful to speak to your GP, or to tell someone trusted how you are feeling.

Rejection

No matter how much you try to understand what happened, you may feel rejected and believe that the person who passed away ignored your love and care. This feeling can be particularly strong if you had been providing support to the person during a prolonged period of mental illness.

You may feel rejected by people close to you or in your community. Sometimes people seem unable to cope with what has happened and withdraw when you need them, leaving you feeling isolated. Some people don’t know how to react and are frightened of doing or saying the wrong thing and, as a result, they don’t make contact and seemingly ignore you.

Sadness and despair

A feeling of profound sadness may be the most frequent response to the death of someone close. You may feel you want the person back and life to return to how it once was.

People bereaved by suicide may question whether they can face living without the person who has died. For some, this may be a fleeting thought; for others, it can become deep despair. Sometimes, people feel they are losing control of their mental health because the grief is so intense.

If this feels too much for you, please seek support.

There are numerous sources of support available for those who have lost someone to suicide or have been impacted by suicide. These sources include:

• Bereavement services
• Peer support groups
• Local support groups

To find out more click here which will take you to the support section.

Source: supportaftersuicide.org.uk